10 Experiences That Made Me Want To Quit Ministry

This post is not technical in the least. I’m choosing this time to be ultra vulnerable in a way that I’m not comfortable with. Ministry isn’t always easy. On second thought, it’s difficult more times than it’s easy if I’m honest. There’s a fine line between being a stereotypical judgmental Christian and allowing yourself to hurt and be human from time to time. Let’s be clear, just because I wanted to quit ministry or got hurt in some form or fashion, didn’t ALWAYS mean that I was the bigger person or the person that was “right”. The purpose of this article is to show you that everyone struggles with balancing and burnout. A lot of details are left out of this out of respect to anyone else involved with these situations. 

1: A Bad Relationship

I was in a serious relationship, before I met my wife, when I was in my early twenties. This was a dating relationship and in the words of a leader in my life that I cherish dearly: “ministry became a jealous mistress”. Now, this was a dating relationship, so I feel like it was justifiable to ultimately choose ministry. However, that wasn’t without a hiatus of four or five months. Even then, I’m not sure that I completely stepped away though. Bad relationship are bad for ministry. Good relationships need to be balanced with ministry. It’s a loaded topic. In short, if you’re married, your priority is your marriage. If you’re not married, I’d say it’s safe to assume that, paired prayer and fasting, your priority can be ministry. It’s a case-by-case scenario on that front. In the end, your Marriage matters.

2: Theological Crises

I went through a theological crises several years back that caused me to deal with some mental barriers that ultimately led to depression and inner conflict. I recommend you step out of ministry for a season to recalibrate in these cases. Get your focus back to God and grow there before committing yourself back to a media booth. Your soul matters.

3: Depression

This could be the primary reason that a lot of people want to quit ministry. There’s been several cases that escalated depression in the last 6-8 years. This one deserves a slot of its own though. Dealing with depression can be a mild or absolutely dark experience and shouldn’t be done alone. I’d say in this case, to quit ministry MAY cause the depression to increase. It really just depends on how you personally it to heal you. What I mean by that is that your teammates can really help you get through a depressive episode. The added value you feel from serving could also boost your moral. Sometimes, you may find that just “being in service” and getting to worship with the congregation. After all, we were designed to worship and WE WILL worship something. Your mental health matters.

4: The Loss of Close Friends

I’m 32. I’ve had friends that last for a season. I’ve had friends that I thought would last for ever. It’s hard to do ministry alone. It’s actually near impossible. It’s easier said than practiced but new friends will come. Sometimes people are removed from your life, against your will, for your good. Your tribe matters.

5: Spiritual Death

This one sounds dark because it is. Sometimes you can literally feel like your soul is absolutely dead, even in the midst of revival surrounding you at your local church. This may not even be burnout. This could be a variation of things. This could even be masked by poor lifestyle choices serving as a coping mechanism. Sometimes it’s hard to detect it. This is a strong sign that it’s time to take a CONTROLLED BREAK. What’s a controlled break? A controlled break, in my mind at least, is a break that you take from ministry while holding yourself accountable to growth. Don’t take a controlled break before linking up to a leader that can hold you accountable. This leader doesn’t have to be a member of your church but does need to be someone that you trust to be honest with. This is no joking matter and should be handled swiftly. Not dealing with this could not only cause you to quit ministry, but could cause you to quit church and God altogether. Take care of it as quickly as you can. Your spiritual life matters. 

6: My Life Was in An Upheaval

A few years ago I had a life situation that rattled me to my core. My mental health was at an all-time low, my decisions weren’t stable, and my priorities were nothing short of absolutely wrong. I won’t go into details but I was in a place that I’m not sure I would have resurrected from if it wasn’t for a great leader I had while I lived in Baton Rouge. A cup of coffee and a two hour conversation saved my life. Getting to share my thoughts, concerns, fears, and other shortcomings was a way to clear my mind and get my heart right. My heart was the issue. I was still serving in ministry and that saved my heart. Being around a strong team that continued to push me caused me to want to be better.  Your heart matters. 

7: The Loss of A Leader

I don’t want to go into too many details on this. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that I’m mentioning this isn’t coming from a hateful or unforgiving way. However, I lost a leader several years back for reasons that I won’t mention. It hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. I failed by placing a leader on a pedestal and assuming they could do no wrong. I hit rock bottom emotionally and spiritually. I didn’t care about ANYTHING anymore. I wanted to quit ministry. I actually did quit for a season and didn’t want ANYTHING to do with a church or its leaders. I woke up in a panic attack one morning and found a church that saved my spiritual life. Forgiveness is something you really have to work hard to allow yourself to give those who have hurt you. It’s a process and won’t happen over night. Forgiveness matters.

8: Theological Crises

I honestly don’t want to know what or who I’d be if I wouldn’t have found Bethany Church in Baton Rouge, LA. A message by Joel Stockstill that simply stated “his word is true” led me to dive into scripture and have a revelation based on Matthew 11: 28-30. To sum it up, I felt God speaking through scripture and giving me peace. “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that I’ve been making things more complicated than they really were. My theology needed help. For the first time in my life, I sought out scripture myself rather than waiting on my Pastor to do it for me. Your theology matters.

9: My Anger 

Guilty. Was I at fault? Yep. This can happen when too many “passionate” people deal with each other on a regular basis. Your passion doesn’t make you right. My passion didn’t make me right. This can also be a sign of over-working without a break. Just breathe. Don’t quit ministry over this, fix your attitude and fix the problems. Maybe it’s justified. Maybe it’s a toxic situation that you shouldn’t be in. Pray about the situation and work towards a solution. Don’t EVER make a decision when you’re extremely happy or extremely upset. Always make a decision from an emotionally neutral place. You’ll never make the right choice if you’re too far in any emotional direction.  Your decisions matter.

10: Burn Out

Most of the times that I’ve wanted to quit ministry have started with being burned out. Burn out, especially for church volunteers is a lethal killer. Take a break from ministry for the sake of maintaining it. Take a vacation with your family, sit in the congregation, anything that will allow you to step away from ministry long enough to re-calibrate. Not taking a break WILL KILL YOUR MINISTRY. Even God rested during the creation story. Your ministry matters. 

Don’t Quit.

None of these experiences that made me want to quit ministry were worth stepping away permanently. I often times just needed a break. A failure to train team members can ultimately lead to territorial driven mindsets that never let you rest.  Don’t quit ministry.